Hera's Modern Life: Chapter 2

Footnotes are a nightmare! Spare me for the inaccuracies please (i'm just a girl) lol anyways, here's chapter two! Enjoy!

Chapter 2.
I Am Hera, I Don't Do Magic 

Waking up to the Aegean sunshine and breeze, I cheerfully brush my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror. Even the bathroom has a window with a sea view—this is Greece after all. Splurging on a trip here with my best friend as a bachelorette getaway was definitely the right choice.

The next moment, without warning, the world spun. My head slammed into the sink, sending stars dancing before my eyes. Struggling to steady myself, I wiped the toothpaste foam from my mouth and propped myself up with my elbow, only to see a completely unfamiliar face in the mirror.

Black hair, tanned skin, big, enchanting eyes with lashes long enough to fan someone. That chin, that neck, those lines—like the elegant ancient Greek statues I saw in museums.

...But who is this person?

I touched my face, and the beauty in the mirror mimicked my movements. Her expression looked as bewildered and dumbfounded as I felt, mouth agape, perfectly matching my current mood.

...This can't be real... It’s too sci-fi.

I’m astonished that I haven’t fainted in a frothing panic. Clearly, I’ve greatly underestimated my nervous system; it’s far more resilient than I imagined. Staring intently at the mirror, I noticed that the wide-eyed beauty wore the same pajamas as me (no surprise there) and still held a toothbrush. Because of my fall, my pajamas were soaked, clinging to my body and revealing my curves.

What’s going on?

I silently asked myself, as if typing a keyword into a search engine. In the next moment, the answer surged into my mind, memories flooding my brain so quickly that I thought it might burst.

Holding my throbbing temples, ears ringing, I felt like I’d pulled an all-nighter gaming for three days straight in college. But I remembered everything.

I was a god in this world.

………………………

That sounds so cold.

But I am indeed a god in this world, at least in relation to the land beneath my feet.

Distractedly spitting out the toothpaste foam and wiping my mouth with a towel, I returned to the bedroom in a daze, then flopped onto the couch and buried my head in my hands, overwhelmed.

My mind is a mess. I remembered that my name was Han Xiaole, 26 years old, an accountant at a company, with parents and a chubby pet dog. I have a boyfriend since college, with our wedding planned in half a month. But more (so much more) memories told me that I had another name: Hera, queen of Olympus, married to Zeus for God knows how many millennia, and oh, I have four kids with him.

Desperately burying my face in my hands, I felt like crying. How I wished I were just having a mental breakdown with delusions. Why Hera, of all people? As Han Xiaole, I knew the general public's opinion of this goddess: one word—jealous. And as Hera, I had memories as detailed as a million-year-old memoir. I remembered everything she knew and felt all she felt. Raising a hand towards a vase on the table, I watched it happily wiggle, with the flowers bowing as if greeting me.

I groaned and wished I could smother myself with the cushions on the couch right now.

In the past, as a god, I often played around in the mortal world under a human guise. I wasn’t the only one; everyone on Olympus did that. Olympus isn’t exactly a fun place. It’s vast, high, and eternally bright to the point that it hurts your eyes. Besides the constant white clouds, blue skies, and golden light, there’s nothing else. Sure, the Muses’ songs are beautiful, and Apollo’s lyre is heavenly, but after a few million years, anyone would crave a change of tune.

But this time, I lost all my memories and powers as Hera, living unknowingly as an entirely ordinary human for 26 years. Twenty-six years is a blink for a god, but without those memories, I found these twenty-six years to be quite happy.

Because I no longer had to endure the gods' mockery and scorn, no more endlessly searching for my husband, no more futile attempts to drag him away from different women and men, whether by pleading, crying, or making a scene. All my efforts were for one purpose: to beg him not to betray me, not to hurt me, not to leave me to sleep in someone else's arms.

With a self-mocking smile, I remembered why I ended up like this. I am the queen of the gods, second only to Zeus in Olympus. No one dared strip the queen of her memories and powers, leaving her to fall to the human world. No one, except my dear husband. Even those who despised me would not dare.

"Even a queen must pay for her actions! Hera! I declare you stripped of your divinity, to be hung upside down outside the gates. No one is to plead for you! And I will cast you to the human world, to suffer as a mortal, until I deem you worthy of forgiveness!"

My husband, the thunder god, ruler of all, roared at me in fury. I stood expressionless before his throne. The eyes around me were filled with sympathy, pity, concern, and also gloating and ridicule, but I no longer cared. My husband treated me this way for a bastard son he had with a mortal woman. He accused me of being cruel and heartless, unworthy of being queen. He raged that I had conspired with the gods to kill a newborn in its cradle. I stared at him, without begging, even as my sons and daughters desperately signaled me to kneel and beg for mercy.

He had so many illegitimate children, and lovers who came and went. It was nearly impossible to find anyone on Olympus who hadn't been in his bed or wasn't related to him. I had raged, desperately tried to stop him, but in the end, I could only compromise. I coldly watched him turn his affairs into stars, flowers, animals, pretending I didn't know.

But this time, I couldn't tolerate it. He placed that wretched mortal-born baby in my daughter's cradle and tricked me into nursing it. Because of that, the child gained divine power, and my husband thought everything was solved, that I would accept the child. He planned to bring it into Olympus, to sit in the golden hall like his other bastards.

I could not tolerate such deceit!

So I did not beg, I stood tall, meeting his gaze, which made him even more furious. In the past, when I killed his lovers and bastards, he would just sulk for a few days. This time, he was enraged because he announced he would grant the child divinity, and I still acted. He prized his dignity above all, and couldn't stand anyone challenging his authority. I had embarrassed him in front of all the gods.

But did he ever consider the countless betrayals, lovers, and children? Who could I turn to for solace for the humiliation and ridicule? I was the goddess of marriage! Countless women prayed to me for marital happiness, for their husbands' fidelity. I could grant their wishes, but my own marriage was a complete disaster. What a colossal joke!

With a heavy sigh, I pulled myself from the long memories, wishing I could erase those humiliations from my mind. As a goddess, I was omnipotent, immortal, basking in glory and worship. Yet, most of the time, I realized I was not happy. As Han Xiaole, a mere mortal, despite the many troubles and struggles for things I once deemed insignificant, I found myself mostly happy.

Waving my finger to stop the flower still running around on the table, a plan formed in my mind.

Why should I return to Olympus to continue suffering? For now, I don't want to see Zeus's disgusting face, and I’m sure he feels the same. He declared that I must endure mortal life's pains until Han Xiaole's life ends, meaning he doesn’t intend to let me return anytime soon—probably hoping that once I’m out of the way, he can cavort freely with his women. In the past, I would have gone mad with rage, but now I just want to say: suit yourself!

Even though a mortal's life lasts only a few decades, I still want to live it out. I'm enamored with the idea of simple happiness. Perhaps, I long for an ordinary yet peaceful life, to enjoy marital bliss like any other common woman, instead of constantly worrying about catching my spouse cheating.

Moreover, Han Xiaole's parents—no, my parents—I love them dearly. They are good humans. Thinking about my parents in Olympus makes me want to roll my eyes. Mother Earth, Gaia, I hope to never see that woman again! And my father, chopped into pieces by my husband. He's my mother's son, my mother is my great-grandmother, and my husband is also my brother! As Han Xiaole, I find such tangled relationships utterly contemptible.

Though remembering my married status does raise some doubts about the upcoming marriage, I am certain I'll figure it out!

So I decide to temporarily forget the fact that I am Hera, snap my fingers to return to Han Xiaole's appearance, change into some clothes, and get ready to go downstairs, hoping to still catch breakfast.

However, as soon as I open the door, I'm dumbfounded.

A bunch of vibrant roses nearly smacks me in the face.

"Darling, I wanted to surprise you!"

That face, which fills me with resentment, peeks out from behind the roses, smiling brighter than a hundred suns rising together. For a moment, I want to scream, jump out the window, or even stab him. But in the end, I just numbly accepted the enormous bouquet.

Oh, my husband, King of the Gods, Zeus, standing in my bedroom doorway, looking like a model from a magazine in his light blue silk shirt and fitted black pants, trendy sunglasses perched on his nose.

"Darling, your human body is quite nice, I like it."

He takes off his sunglasses, giving me a thorough once-over with his deep blue eyes, even whistling.

"I like petite black-haired women. To celebrate us being back together, shall we kiss?"

"I don't—"

Before I can finish, he eagerly rushes forward, sweeping me up in his arms, almost lifting me off the ground, then proceeding to suffocate me with a passionate kiss.

"All right, before we return to Olympus, let's have a delightful human breakfast together to make up for my previous rudeness."

He sets me down, satisfied, slapping my butt before happily bounding downstairs.

"Hurry up, I've reserved table three!"

Left standing there holding the bouquet, now slightly crushed, I can't help but wonder what to say.

Though movies and novels portray my husband as a tall, dignified middle-aged man with a beard, I, as his wife, regretfully have to say that is completely wrong. He's not the type of gallant gentleman; he's more like a notorious playboy, and moreover, my husband has always only liked young girls and he absolutely detests having a beard.

Zeus may be a jerk, but he truly is a very, very handsome, supermodel-level jerk who can make every female creature swoon instantly.

I touch my slightly flushed face, sadly thinking.

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